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By Kim Fedele, Scott’s Fiancée

 

“If it had teeth it would bite” was a quote that my mom would often tell me after I frantically searched for something I couldn’t find. Mom always stepped in and usually found whatever it was in less than a minute. So the thing that seemed to derail me was right in front of me the whole time. What would bother me the most, aside from her finding the item instantly, was why couldn’t I find it myself? Were her eyes different than mine, as if mothers develop this razor-sharp sonar because they are forever searching for lost toys, favorite socks, jewelry or a snuggle blanket for their panicked kids? Whatever the case may be, I was always happy to get back the missing item — you know, the thing that, at the time, seemed like the most important thing in the world. Or was I?

As a mom myself with three kids — two in college, one in high school — I’ve now become the Retriever of Lost Items. And, just like my own mother, I find these treasures rapidly and in the same fashion. Yes, I have found myself repeating Mom’s mantra: “If it had teeth it would bite.”

What I have learned over the years is that finding those lost items, which in many instances are right under our noses, applies to most things in life — physical objects, an emotion, an idea or a VISION. Sometimes the things in life that we have been searching years for are right in front of us. But why don’t we see them? If we just took the time to really understand what it is we are looking for or fighting for, we’d often discover the answers right in front of us.

OPEN YOUR EYES…
1. Stop, breathe, clear your head.
2. Know what you are looking for or fighting for.
3. Decide whether or not the search or cause is truly worth your time and energy.
4. If so, go all in, not half-way.
5. Stay focused.
6. Realize that some things may no longer bear the packaging you put them in, literally and metaphorically.
7. Be fully prepared to look for or fight for an object, an idea, an emotion or your Vision.

My fiancé was rifling through a drawer the other day for a rubber band. He pictured it in his mind, and that mental image is what he fixated on as he tore that drawer apart. What he was searching for wasn’t there, however. Well, actually, there WAS a rubber band in that drawer, which I found for him immediately. A blue one, not the traditional tan-colored one he had been been expecting to see. In that moment, his eyes weren’t programmed for such a variation, his mind not open to possibility. I did refrain from saying, “If it had teeth it would bite.”

We all experience similar, frustrating derailments in our everyday lives. You may be looking for something larger and more profound than a rubber band, such as a new job, artistic expression, stronger relationships or more enriching personal goals, but the approach remains the same. It reinforces the importance of having a clear VISION (knowing what you’re looking for), MINDSET (readjusting your attitude) and GRIT (searching with conviction).

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